want u back

I thought one year would be enough to erase you from my memories. Spring is usually the time to start something new. Go outside, be happy. I can’t seem to enjoy any of these things lately. All I think about is you. The time we’ve spent. The memories we’ve made. The nights we’ve shared. The ups and the downs.

I want it back.
All of it.
Every single moment.

I still go to the places where we used to hang out and picture ourselves there. It hurts. You’ve changed me for the better. Showed me the world and it’s treasures. Helped me up when I stumbled over my own feet. You’ve always been there. Not always physically but always mentally.

You were the center of my universe.
Always have been, always will be.

I tried so hard to not let my demons take over me. You sensed it when I struggled. Each and every time. When I couldn’t hold it back any longer, you were there to tell me it’s okay. You didn’t run away. You stayed. Thats how I knew I could trust you. I’ve decided to let all of my guards down. Despite the constant fear of judgement. And that is the best gift someone has ever given me. Thank you.

Thank you for crossing my path.
Thank you for showing me who I really am.
Thank you for shaping me into the person I am today.
Thank you for literally anything you have ever done.

I loved you with all my heart.
I know you knew.

But now it’s time to move on.




I miss you.
I said it.
I really fucking miss you.

I miss how you used to bury your face in my neck. The way your warm breath caused my skin to be covered in goosebumps.

I miss how you used to run your fingers up and down my shoulder  when I couldn’t sleep. The way you played with my hair half asleep.

I miss how you looked down on me when you realized I was about to fall asleep. The way you smiled when I woke up again.

I miss how you used to hold me tightly in my sleep. The way you held my hand and didn’t let go until we both woke up.

I miss how you used to wake me up leaving kisses all over my back and neck. The way I felt when your fingers touched my skin.

I miss you.
I really fucking miss you.