I have forced myself to go outside to socialize with others in hope I could silence the demons living inside of my head. For most of the time I was able to put on a mask and pretend as if everything was fine. I would be around friends feeling nothing but empty. Nothing in particular was bothering me or so it seemed to me. I just had nothing left to say. Not. even. a. single. word.
I was sitting with a group of people, staring into the unknown and completely blocking out their voices. Almost as if I was hypnotized by the dark and distant sky above us. It gave me the feeling of comfort. Comfort the people around me wouldn’t be able to give me.
However within this group of people, only one person was able to see beyond the obvious. They would sense when I was putting up a show. They were the only one I couldn’t trick into thinking I was doing fine even though I was breaking apart on the inside. They didn’t change the fact I was feeling dead inside, they just made this whole thing bearable. It needed nothing more than their presence to make me feel I can handle this emptiness eating me from inside.