imissyou

I miss you.
I said it.
I really fucking miss you.

I miss how you used to bury your face in my neck. The way your warm breath caused my skin to be covered in goosebumps.

I miss how you used to run your fingers up and down my shoulder  when I couldn’t sleep. The way you played with my hair half asleep.

I miss how you looked down on me when you realized I was about to fall asleep. The way you smiled when I woke up again.

I miss how you used to hold me tightly in my sleep. The way you held my hand and didn’t let go until we both woke up.

I miss how you used to wake me up leaving kisses all over my back and neck. The way I felt when your fingers touched my skin.

I miss you.
I really fucking miss you.

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my heart is out at sea, my head all over the place

As I type these words, tears are streaming down my face. Here I am writing it for everyone to read. I don’t know who I am anymore. The last quarter of the year was a constant roller coaster ride. I know I seem to be truly living my life, having everything under control when in fact I’m dying on the inside. Everyone seems to be moving forward, except me. I feel like I am stuck in the same place for these past couple of months.

I constantly seek my purpose in this life. I’ve been to places, met the most amazing people, yet I still feel empty. This whole entire year I hopped from one airplane to the other to literally grab life by it’s balls and live my life. Travelling has opened so many new doors but at the same time closed many too. I have learned a lot about myself, but had only little time to let these emotions and feelings sink in. Due to my restlessness I have ignored my inner voice which tried to tell me to process things properly before jumping to the next adventure. Along the road I have met the most inspiring souls which still, to this day, make me fight to be a better person each and every day. The only sad thing about this is, I can’t keep them close to me.