This is misery or somewhere in between.

I’ve got bad jokes just to pass the time in social settings but I’m dead inside. I’m not sure what you want from me at all.

The past couple of weeks I have forced myself to go outside and socialise with others in hope I could silence the demons living inside of my head. For most of the time I was able to put on a mask and pretend as if everything was fine. I would be around friends feeling nothing but empty. Nothing in particular was bothering me or so it seemed to me. I just had nothing left to say. Not even a single word. It was like sitting with a group of people, staring into the unknown and completely blocking out their voices. Almost as if I was hypnotised by the dark and distant sky above us. It gave me a feeling of comfort. Comfort the people around me wouldn’t be able to give me.

However there was one person who was able to accept the fact that I was hollow inside. They would sense when I was putting up a show. They were the only one I couldn’t trick into thinking I was doing fine even though I was breaking apart on the inside. They didn’t change the fact I was feeling dead inside, they just made this whole thing bearable. It needed nothing more than their presence to make me feel I can handle this emptiness eating me from inside.





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